Tuesday, December 9, 2008

A Bit Further Out

Big news everyone. I came out to my mother. Tuesday afternoon I had a Callen Lorde appointment in the city. It would so hard for me to come out face to face, so instead I did it in the form of a letter. I left it in to the dining room table and left the house.

On the train to the city I received a call on my cell phone. Its my mother. I am frightened to death. In my thoughts, I begin thinking "Did I make a mistake? Oh my god why did I tell her? I didn't think she would read it this quickly!" Terrified, I ignored the call. My mother however did leave a message. I was reluctant at first, but decide to hear it out. I nearly cried to what I had heard. My mother had said that everything was ok. She knew for a long time that something was up with me and the possibility of me being transgender. Mom says that she was just waiting for me to come out. I couldn't believe it. I was truly lucky. Many trans folk are turned away and/or disowned. I am one of the lucky few that is excepted. We still haven't spoken face to face yet. She works nights so I'll see what happens. Yay I am out to my mom. ^_^

On a side note I received my blood work results from two weeks ago. Everything was fine. I was given the ok to move up to the full dose of hormones. I'll see how my body handles it. If I feel that it is to much to soon, I'll inform the doctors and readjust the HRT prescription. However, I began taking the full dose to day. I'll let everyone know how it feels as time goes on.

-Nikki

9 comments:

Danie said...

Congrats on coming out to your mom!
I was extremely nervous when i told my mom. and i still haven't told my dad. i'm scared out of my mind to tell my dad.

I feel dumb having to ask, but when you are first starting hormones, you start on a, what, half dose? Quarter dose?

Nikki said...

Danie- I am not sure how other places take care of trans people. However, when I went to a clinic that specializes in transgender care, they give you a blood test. If the results come back ok you will be a half dose of hormones. Some changes may occur, but this is primarily to see how your body reacts to the newly introduced hormones. This way, if something does go wrong you won't have to suffer a major medical complication.

You then take another blood test. If all is well, the standard dose or the full dose of hormones may be prescribed if so desired.I have blood test scheduled in a month to make sure I am not undergoing any complications.

It is very important to seek a medical help for HRT. I hope I was able to address you question. ^_^

-Nikki

Danie said...

Nikki- you actually helped quite a lot.
sorry that i'm using your blog as a info place.

you have no idea how jealous i am that you are already starting hormones... and i don't even know you.

openworm said...

awsommmmmmmme! congrads

alan said...

I was so hoping that when the time came things would be OK!

Now perhaps things will be easier at home and with less stress there other things will be easier as well!

Coupling that with the good news on the medical front, things are really looking up!

I'm so happy for you!

alan

Lori D said...

This was truly great to read, my friend! Having your mother understand from the git go will be a very good thing for you as you move along. I'm smiling!

Shauna Baggtt said...

I have spoke to atleast fifty trans girls, more than half have had the same experience as you but the rest have been shunned out.

I am different, my father till this day gives me a hard time but he hasn't disowned me only because it can't be helped and he knew it would come to this.

I wish I could help others with coming out and that all would live a great life but that isn't possible. All I can do is watch and listen.

Congrats Ms Nikki, you now have your mothers love everybody else is peanuts :)

XXOO

alan said...

Thinking of you this cold snowy morning, and hoping you are warm, well and happy!

alan

Nikki said...

Everyone's congratulations means a lot to me.