Saturday, November 29, 2008

No escape

You know how they say you can never escape your trans issues. Well, for some reason I was emotionally rocked at work. The store was very busy and hectic. A customer had come to me wishing to speak to the store manager. I made the request and in waiting I asked was there any major concern to be had. The customer complained how filthy the mens lavatory was. In all fairness, he was right. It was just disgusting in there.

The store manager finally arrives to have a word with the disgruntled customer. I'm not sure what happened, when the manager came back, (they both went to go check the bathroom out)he was upset and at the customer no less. Well to cut to the point, the CSM (Customer Service Manager) came to me saying that Derick and I have to clean the male bathroom. "What?! Why!? How come!?", I asked while very disappointed. She said, "Because your the only two MALES here." Don't get me wrong. I'm not out at work, but this struck my heart in such a painful way. On top of that, they where about to make me clean the bathroom. To bring the story up to speed, I found the housekeeper and informed him of the situation. However, for the rest of the night I was so upset. There where time I almost knew I was going to cry.

The whole thing is, I was referred to as male. It nearly crushed me. It's funny (actually, it isn't), I am starting to realize how bad my trans issues are. As I transition not only physically but mentally I discover more and more the depth of my trans status.

8 comments:

openworm said...

wow, that sucks dude, things well get better!! p o s i t i v e

Amber's Transition said...

I think that's one of the worst parts about not being out at work, they don't have any idea about how a comment like that hurts you. As for me, I've had to grow a "thick hide", everybody at work knows about me, I'm semi full time at work, but people still refer to me as "him". Somethings are just hard to change.

Jessica said...

hugs
Jessica

Lori D said...

Yeah, that totally blows. I'm sorry to hear how that screwed up how you felt. Someday you won't have to worry about it, hon. Someday.

Nikki said...

Thank you everyone for your kind words. Things will get better little by little I'm sure. ^_^

alan said...

There are things that men will do in a public restroom that could get them "bobbitized" at home...I wouldn't have wanted to deal with their mess either!

I read so many pieces written that speak of one piece of knowledge informing so many other points both past and present that weren't realized at the time...it's amazing!

To look back and say "Wow, that's what caused this" or "that's why this happened"...

May all the pieces fall into place and may your life become as wonderful as you are!

alan

Danie said...

You have no idea how much i feel for you. maybe this is a hint to come out at work too?

and i'm really glad i found your blog.

Nikki said...

Thank you Danie. I am glad you found it. ^_^