Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Not Exceptedy life I

Just a while ago I was searching for a new place to live. In my search I had come across this place that suited my liking. It was a lovely family home. The house had excellent accommodations and I had fell in love with the place. In meeting the owners, there was a mutual feeling that we were all good people. However, they had no idea I was transgendered. My thinking was, it wouldn't matter if they didn't know. Little did I know, my way of thinking was incorrect.

Friends of mine would beg me to come out to these people. They didn't want to see me in a bad situation if they had found out I was transgender and didn't like it. Like the big girl I am ,I came to a decision and emailed the owner. My goal was to be open and honest with them. In my email I said:

"I eagerly await the day I move into your lovely home. There is such
excitement and real joy taking up residence at this location. As a
strong woman I have always been honest and up front with people that
would be apart of my life. I have a secret that I need to tell you in
order to have a health relationship with the tenents of the
residence. Kenshu, I just felt it would be fare to let you know that I
am a transgendered woman. I live and work fulltime as a woman with
legal documentation to prove it. I hope that my coming out does not
discourage you for excepting me as a tenent. However I feel that you
should know the complete and honest truth. If everything is fine I
would still love to start moving in thursday. Thank you for your time

I was so nervous. Everyone told me it would be alright, but I was still on pins and needles. Over and over again I would check my email untill finally he had responded back:

" Thank you for your sincerity. You are a very nice person. Last night I talked to the other members of the house. Unfortunately they did not feel comfortable with you moving in - especially the girl that would be sharing a room with you. I'm sorry about this. I hope this doesn't cause too much complication on your part. I'm sure you will be able to find another wonderful place to stay. Please take care~"

You wouldn't believe how devastated I was. At this point in my life I am so acclimated to living my life as a woman. Anywhere I walk I never receive any negative energy. I pass as a woman. I am very confident in myself. So when I was turned down for the place it struck a cord with me. Lets not forget that they wouldn't have known anything unless had said something. For the next four hours I was crying and horribly depressed. Finally I decided to go out that night to alleviate the pain of rejection.

I was with others trans girls feeling comforted. That night a friend of mine that had known of my sadness called me up. He had offered me a place to live. Not only was I feeling better, but there was a solution to my problem. Now I live with a family that excepts me for who and what I am. I guess the moral of the story is not to lower your head to people who don't except you for who you are, but to raise head up high and allow for people to recognize you as the person that you are.