Last Night before lying down for sleep I got a weird sensation. My hand had pressed up against my chest. It was sore at the tip. I was like "oh my god!" It was expected, I didn't expect it this soon though. I was on a half dose of hormones for a month. After receiving permission from my doctors I I went up to a full dose of hormones. It'll be two weeks that I have been on a half dose today.
The reason I am like "oh my god" is because this slight soreness means breast growth will probably be starting soon ^_^. I am always looking for what changes will occur.
When starting HRT, I felt things would take months to just get started. However, I think little bits here and there will come to my attention more sooner than later. To be honest, I am just taking everything in and enjoying the ride. ^_^
-Nikki
Monday, December 22, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Come out part 2
Now that I have come out to my mother I would like to have a discussion about transition and what it means to me. I need to express that I am on hormones. There is a need for me to discuss what I have done over the past year. She is not aware of me going to NYC to trans support groups.
Informing my mother that I am on hormones feels almost like a second coming out. Sure I came out, but I don't think it will settle in until it is known that I've already begun to take the first steps to transition. Surely there is much to be discussed. In fact, since my coming out nothing has been discussed at all.
I decided to come out around the holiday season because people can be a bit more light hearted and caught up in the holiday spirit. Another reason, in which I think is pretty cool, is to make sure I don't get any "man" items for Christmas. ^_^
Informing my mother that I am on hormones feels almost like a second coming out. Sure I came out, but I don't think it will settle in until it is known that I've already begun to take the first steps to transition. Surely there is much to be discussed. In fact, since my coming out nothing has been discussed at all.
I decided to come out around the holiday season because people can be a bit more light hearted and caught up in the holiday spirit. Another reason, in which I think is pretty cool, is to make sure I don't get any "man" items for Christmas. ^_^
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
A Bit Further Out
Big news everyone. I came out to my mother. Tuesday afternoon I had a Callen Lorde appointment in the city. It would so hard for me to come out face to face, so instead I did it in the form of a letter. I left it in to the dining room table and left the house.
On the train to the city I received a call on my cell phone. Its my mother. I am frightened to death. In my thoughts, I begin thinking "Did I make a mistake? Oh my god why did I tell her? I didn't think she would read it this quickly!" Terrified, I ignored the call. My mother however did leave a message. I was reluctant at first, but decide to hear it out. I nearly cried to what I had heard. My mother had said that everything was ok. She knew for a long time that something was up with me and the possibility of me being transgender. Mom says that she was just waiting for me to come out. I couldn't believe it. I was truly lucky. Many trans folk are turned away and/or disowned. I am one of the lucky few that is excepted. We still haven't spoken face to face yet. She works nights so I'll see what happens. Yay I am out to my mom. ^_^
On a side note I received my blood work results from two weeks ago. Everything was fine. I was given the ok to move up to the full dose of hormones. I'll see how my body handles it. If I feel that it is to much to soon, I'll inform the doctors and readjust the HRT prescription. However, I began taking the full dose to day. I'll let everyone know how it feels as time goes on.
-Nikki
On the train to the city I received a call on my cell phone. Its my mother. I am frightened to death. In my thoughts, I begin thinking "Did I make a mistake? Oh my god why did I tell her? I didn't think she would read it this quickly!" Terrified, I ignored the call. My mother however did leave a message. I was reluctant at first, but decide to hear it out. I nearly cried to what I had heard. My mother had said that everything was ok. She knew for a long time that something was up with me and the possibility of me being transgender. Mom says that she was just waiting for me to come out. I couldn't believe it. I was truly lucky. Many trans folk are turned away and/or disowned. I am one of the lucky few that is excepted. We still haven't spoken face to face yet. She works nights so I'll see what happens. Yay I am out to my mom. ^_^
On a side note I received my blood work results from two weeks ago. Everything was fine. I was given the ok to move up to the full dose of hormones. I'll see how my body handles it. If I feel that it is to much to soon, I'll inform the doctors and readjust the HRT prescription. However, I began taking the full dose to day. I'll let everyone know how it feels as time goes on.
-Nikki
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