Mark your calenders folks. Saturday night I went to work dressed as a woman. I basically wore woman's pants, a hoody and a new necklace that I had just purchased. But no matter how simple the outfit was, my look was still drastically different from before. People had no idea how skinny I actually looked.
That night it had snowed. Business had slowed down to a crawl. Needless to say that it was my lucky night to be dressed to work.
The funny thing is I was stationed with someone to train on register. Since it was so slow we ended up talking. Believe it or not, I had come out to him during the conversation. It was great because he had known someone that was transgender as well.
The next day I wore the same thing. Even though I wore these clothes the night before, it was a totally different sensation now. The storm was over outside and it was a brand new day. People were everywhere. Saturday night was a nice way to start off. However, Sunday and on will be the real test of my inner strength.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Second post of the day!
Ok, I just wanted to spread a little good news. This past week I went to the local mall. I wanted to go to Hot Topic. Usually I don't shop there, but I wanted a necklace/choker to wear. So I walk in and there is 50-75% off all items! What had happened is that Hot Topic is closing in that mall. The mall sucks over all and its getting no business at all. Oh well, it was great for me ^_^. Hot Topic has some pretty expensive stuff inside, its cool stuff, but expensive non the less. The great thing about this store is that you can look and examine anything and feel comfortable. So guess what I did? I bought all the women's clothing and items I wanted. I have bought several shirts and necklaces. It feels so good to treat yourself and save money while doing so. I went back today to get a few more things. I got some great thigh high stockings, make up and these knee high sneakers that are just gorgeous. Hell, I might even go back to save money on make up.
Events like this is so beneficial to my transition. I mean come on, you can never have enough clothing. I am glad that these deals came after the holidays. The holidays are so demanding and you have no time or money to focus on yourself. I am looking forward to increasing my wardrobe while dwindling down on the male wear. ^_^
-Nikki
Events like this is so beneficial to my transition. I mean come on, you can never have enough clothing. I am glad that these deals came after the holidays. The holidays are so demanding and you have no time or money to focus on yourself. I am looking forward to increasing my wardrobe while dwindling down on the male wear. ^_^
-Nikki
Reaching for Joy
Reaching out and exploring the trans community was one of the most enlightening things I have ever done. The euphoria I felt being amongst people freeing themselves from society's social limitations just leaves me in awe. For me identifying as trans meant being apart of a community that conservative capitalists wish to keep hidden and locked away. Trans people see the world from a much more broader perspective. Because of this, we are alleviated of the black and white cloak that hinders the vision of the rest of the world. Its funny. People in this world don't even realize how limited their world is.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Monday, December 22, 2008
Last Night before lying down for sleep I got a weird sensation. My hand had pressed up against my chest. It was sore at the tip. I was like "oh my god!" It was expected, I didn't expect it this soon though. I was on a half dose of hormones for a month. After receiving permission from my doctors I I went up to a full dose of hormones. It'll be two weeks that I have been on a half dose today.
The reason I am like "oh my god" is because this slight soreness means breast growth will probably be starting soon ^_^. I am always looking for what changes will occur.
When starting HRT, I felt things would take months to just get started. However, I think little bits here and there will come to my attention more sooner than later. To be honest, I am just taking everything in and enjoying the ride. ^_^
-Nikki
The reason I am like "oh my god" is because this slight soreness means breast growth will probably be starting soon ^_^. I am always looking for what changes will occur.
When starting HRT, I felt things would take months to just get started. However, I think little bits here and there will come to my attention more sooner than later. To be honest, I am just taking everything in and enjoying the ride. ^_^
-Nikki
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Come out part 2
Now that I have come out to my mother I would like to have a discussion about transition and what it means to me. I need to express that I am on hormones. There is a need for me to discuss what I have done over the past year. She is not aware of me going to NYC to trans support groups.
Informing my mother that I am on hormones feels almost like a second coming out. Sure I came out, but I don't think it will settle in until it is known that I've already begun to take the first steps to transition. Surely there is much to be discussed. In fact, since my coming out nothing has been discussed at all.
I decided to come out around the holiday season because people can be a bit more light hearted and caught up in the holiday spirit. Another reason, in which I think is pretty cool, is to make sure I don't get any "man" items for Christmas. ^_^
Informing my mother that I am on hormones feels almost like a second coming out. Sure I came out, but I don't think it will settle in until it is known that I've already begun to take the first steps to transition. Surely there is much to be discussed. In fact, since my coming out nothing has been discussed at all.
I decided to come out around the holiday season because people can be a bit more light hearted and caught up in the holiday spirit. Another reason, in which I think is pretty cool, is to make sure I don't get any "man" items for Christmas. ^_^
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
A Bit Further Out
Big news everyone. I came out to my mother. Tuesday afternoon I had a Callen Lorde appointment in the city. It would so hard for me to come out face to face, so instead I did it in the form of a letter. I left it in to the dining room table and left the house.
On the train to the city I received a call on my cell phone. Its my mother. I am frightened to death. In my thoughts, I begin thinking "Did I make a mistake? Oh my god why did I tell her? I didn't think she would read it this quickly!" Terrified, I ignored the call. My mother however did leave a message. I was reluctant at first, but decide to hear it out. I nearly cried to what I had heard. My mother had said that everything was ok. She knew for a long time that something was up with me and the possibility of me being transgender. Mom says that she was just waiting for me to come out. I couldn't believe it. I was truly lucky. Many trans folk are turned away and/or disowned. I am one of the lucky few that is excepted. We still haven't spoken face to face yet. She works nights so I'll see what happens. Yay I am out to my mom. ^_^
On a side note I received my blood work results from two weeks ago. Everything was fine. I was given the ok to move up to the full dose of hormones. I'll see how my body handles it. If I feel that it is to much to soon, I'll inform the doctors and readjust the HRT prescription. However, I began taking the full dose to day. I'll let everyone know how it feels as time goes on.
-Nikki
On the train to the city I received a call on my cell phone. Its my mother. I am frightened to death. In my thoughts, I begin thinking "Did I make a mistake? Oh my god why did I tell her? I didn't think she would read it this quickly!" Terrified, I ignored the call. My mother however did leave a message. I was reluctant at first, but decide to hear it out. I nearly cried to what I had heard. My mother had said that everything was ok. She knew for a long time that something was up with me and the possibility of me being transgender. Mom says that she was just waiting for me to come out. I couldn't believe it. I was truly lucky. Many trans folk are turned away and/or disowned. I am one of the lucky few that is excepted. We still haven't spoken face to face yet. She works nights so I'll see what happens. Yay I am out to my mom. ^_^
On a side note I received my blood work results from two weeks ago. Everything was fine. I was given the ok to move up to the full dose of hormones. I'll see how my body handles it. If I feel that it is to much to soon, I'll inform the doctors and readjust the HRT prescription. However, I began taking the full dose to day. I'll let everyone know how it feels as time goes on.
-Nikki
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
